There are several types of connection in dance. They often intertwine with one another, yet there is a distinction we can classify them by: physical, ground, visual, musical, and emotional connection.
Emotional connection is going to be the focal point of this post. A good friend of mine and I refer to it as "The Thing". That thing that makes the dance memorable. The thing which you experience once, and it makes the party worth it. Hell, it makes a whole congress or a festival worth it. But first, a brief mention of other types of connection so we do not collide in definitions.
Physical Connection
Does what it says on the tin. Physical touch and interaction during partner work. Straightforward, yet there is a lot of depth to it. Good technique is vital. It starts from basic things such as light handhold, correct arm placements of both leader and the follower, matching each other's pressure and tension, and maintaining the frame to allow new movements to happen. It would also include more comprehensive details, e.g., rotation of fingers, flick motions, shoulder and hip techniques, arm clearing - all of which contribute to smooth movements in an efficient and respectful to each other manner.
Ground Connection
Basic step and balance. Having good basics and not doing unnecessary taps or preparations contributes greatly to lightness in dance - both for leads and followers. Nobody wants to dance with someone who feels like moving a piano. The technique is everything here, as it will remove the obstructions of your own body and ensure you are prepared for anything that can occur. It will create subconscious control of movements and make time for self-expression. Spatial awareness and floor craft would come here too - preventing you from being that one couple that does cabaret moves and disrupts everyone else's dance.
Visual Connection
An underrated and often forgotten type of connection. Worlds can change when eyes meet. However, it is not limited to eye contact, it is also looking at the arm when sliding your hand while changing from closed to an open position. Looking at the hand flick to see where it lands. Looking at each other when separating into a solo or shines to let each other know you are still one even when not physically connected. These little details speak loudly.
Musical Connection
This one is discussed in depth in "Musicality?" and further in "Should technique and musicality be separated in class?". Most people deem musical connection as the most important, and I am here to challenge that. To me, music is a setting, an atmosphere. Imagine being with a person you connect with particularly deeply. Indeed you will have a fantastic time in a 5-star hotel or on a sunny beach, but if it is the right person, you will be able to have just as great a time eating McDonald's on a curb or getting caught in a storm as long as you have each other. That is what the songs are - an atmosphere to dive in, each telling a different story to invoke the feelings you can share with your partner. Sure, you can still have a great time in a luxurious hotel by yourself when a great song is played, but it will not be as remarkable without someone you genuinely connect with. This leads us to the final type - emotional connection.
Emotional Connection
I found that the more experienced the dancer, the less emotional connection they tend to convey. Too much time is spent with a "look what I can do" mentality, and too little remains for sharing emotions.
They may be the most decorated of physical connections, but if emotions are not shared, it is difficult to call it a connection, but rather, proximity to one another. It is like having a screw on a bolt - they are together, but what is being shared? Nothing but proximity. We are not inanimate objects that move cohesively without regard or concern about the interactions with one another. We are emotional beings; we feel, and because we do, we should communicate it to each other during the dance.
Of course, two people can think differently of connection. It can undoubtedly be one-sided. Have you ever felt totally in love while the other person does not feel the same way? It is equivalent. What a person feels is not discounted by what another does not. So is the degree to which we feel that connection. If you spend your time being passionate in dance, then share a dance with someone who has never felt nor danced passionately; chances are that the degree of passion shared will be drastically different, even if any. It becomes almost impossible for someone to give what they have never fully explored.
Emotionless dancing appears to be symptom-specific to dancers who became obsessed with bodies in motion and perception from outside. Given their need to impress and progress, they become advanced in skill relatively quickly. Unfortunately, because they had no time to mature, they cannot see beyond the esoteric ideals. This trait appears more pronounced in salsa dancers than other dancers because almost nobody stresses human interaction beyond bodies in motion. Their elevated skill becomes most apparent, in turn obsessing with learning more technique, more shines and moves. Kind of like the guy counting holes in his belt. He is yet to satisfy himself or his partners, but he sure has a lot of holes in his belt. So, he continues to add holes until one day, he stumbles upon love.
Auto-mode
Many advanced dancers continue to run in auto-mode, increasing their experience and abilities, but they do not know how to switch it off because they have spent so much time in auto-mode. It becomes almost an ingrained inability that prevents them from touching upon emotions. Not just joy, but the array of emotions that makes us feel alive. Trying to reach some type of pinnacle, they genuinely believe there is always more to learn. Sadly, the "always" rarely includes emotions. The bandwidth is there, but it too often represents no more than raw potential. It is like having a 5g connection while connecting with a dial-up modem. Like looking outside to the sky that has never been blue. All the ability is there, but it does not do any good because we are not wired to use it.
The one characteristic I like of ballroom dancers is that they morph their feelings into songs, while most salsa dancers get stuck with a smile or in auto-mode. It makes us look like we do not understand human interaction, that we are incapable of interacting beyond touch.
Maturity
Display of emotions seems to be more prevalent in mature people. People who have experienced life, be it a young person, or an older person. Someone who has been taught by life that interactions with others are magnified by sharing emotions. They tend to care less about how good they, their partner, or anyone is. They are not necessarily advanced but rather, mature dancers.
The emotionally inexperienced dancers are yet to realise that there is more to life than the body, yet to learn that while their own book can be written, emotions make the dullest of moves feel infinitely better than the highest in skill or best-executed movement. There are mounds of advanced dancers that have not used their bandwidth for something other than potential. A dormant ability that is not considered required for dancing.
Skill Level
The connection also has a relativity to the skill level. However, it is not a straight line but rather a U-shaped curve.
A beginner who knows nothing, does not care, and has that inner spark, will connect. Likewise, an advanced dancer who went through the journey, stopped caring, and reignited that inner spark, will connect too.
A dancer working on their technique and repertoire, even if they have the spark, will have it dulled while their attention is taken by dry subjects such as technique and repertoire. It is only when skills they are learning, whatever aspect of dance they are focusing on, are assimilated and embedded in them, they will loosen up and allow that connection to happen again. Unfortunately, some forever get stuck in auto-mode, suppressing their hearts.
For people without the personality to connect, it may never happen.
Chemistry
The emotional connection does not change given activity. The connection will always be a connection. Among masses, it is known as the chemistry between two people. Some sort of emotional experience between two people that makes moments feel more than just moments. When upon touch, the spark hits deep in your gut. When she smiles, and you do not see her teeth but feel her joy. When she breathes and your breath is taken away. The point when the room feels empty, when all the colours are stolen just by you two, and you feel so light that it seems you are not touching the floor. When you look into her eyes, and the infinity of the world becomes visible. When you actually feel like you have just spent five minutes lost in her eyes.
Anyone, at any time, can be lured away from their current state of mind. It takes an ability to cause this to happen, but it is possible. Similar to an experienced lead making a beginner dance well beyond her capabilities. She might have never thought she could reach that level, but she is dancing like a pro for that song. If you are good with emotions, you can certainly influence the emotions of others.
However, are we willing to do it, how long are we willing to fight, and how hard will we fight to entice someone into an emotionally charged dance?
Is it even worth it?
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